babies were throwing up all over the place
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
