i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
