I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize