I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Welp...herpes.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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