ugly people sure do ruin things
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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