Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You ate ashes out of my bong
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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