remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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