did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?