Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
