Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
