Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
