I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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