you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
