I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Someone came in the potted fern
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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