Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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