I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
