Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
