Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
