She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize