Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
