He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
