A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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