i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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