But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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