He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
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