just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
