Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
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Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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