If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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