Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
