Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
