Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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