i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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