Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
