More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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