Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
