I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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