Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
