It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
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Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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