OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
