I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Send help, water and tortillas.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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