im about as happy as oj after his trial
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
