i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
