he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
