Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
