Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
