Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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