Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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