he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Your cock deserves a montage
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
