I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
