So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize