So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
