you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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