He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The uberlube is also flammable
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Randomize