Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
