I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
