her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize