I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
