Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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